Chapter Four :: Feeling Good – Can Self-Esteem Be Harmful?
So, as I was reading this book, I started to realize that I needed to write some of this info down because (personally) I could relate and also it was just so good. I could summarize this chapter in one phrase: Effort is a growth mindset.
I came away from this chapter with the thought to value effort over intelligence and self-worth. As an American, raised in a great home, and being the youngest, I was showered with praise and big dreams. This chapter spoke to me, because, as an adult, I find myself not quite living up to the expectations of my childhood. Anyway, that is a subject for another day.
Christine Gross-Lou, author of Parenting Without Border, compares the American culture of praise based parenting to other cultures that value effort. She wrote that 85 percent of American parents believed that “praising their children was necessary to make them feel smart.” However, this self-esteem first type of parenting can undermine the development of an important, life compelling trait: resilience.