Story 27 :: Three Month Separation

I thought things were going great between Karen and I. Her parents however were not as thrilled or excited about our relationship. When they found out that Karen and I were talking about the future together, they decided it was too soon and they went to their church youth group pastor to discuss how to stop this before it went too far.

At this point, Karen is 20 years old and going to college while living at home. I was 23, living with my aunt about 10 minutes away, and working at Paradyme.

Even though Karen was not in the youth group, the pastor suggested that we be put on a three month separation with no contact whatsoever. So, shortly after that meeting, Karen’s parents had a meeting with both of us and made the decision to separate us for three months. It was our heart to honor their request even though it felt wrong to us. So, we agreed to the three months and I left her at the house and went home.

This was easier said than done. For me this was extremely difficult and a great step of faith. Karen rarely spoke affectionately to me, so I was kind of on the fence about whether she truly loved me or not. I knew that the intention of the separation was most likely an attempt to break us up. I also knew that Karen was respectful of her parents that if they did not want her to marry me, she would not. I was torn about what to do.

One day, I went to a church ground breaking where I knew she would be there. I passed a note through an usher after the worship set to let her know I was there. Her parents were not happy about that. After service, she found me and put me in my place concerning the separation. It was the first time I saw her exude strength toward me – in correction. I was amazed and fell more in love with her. She corrected me that this was a time for us to engage the Lord concerning our relationship. I apologized to her and told her I would respect the rules of the separation. From that point on, I never made contact with her again during the separation.

The rest of the separation was powerful as the Lord dealt with me very personally. I will never forget Him speaking to me and telling me that He put a sword between Karen and I so that He could teach me how to love as He loves. There was fear in how I loved. So, the Lord dealt with my fear and delivered me so I could love Karen in purity.

A few months later, I was invited over for Thanksgiving and her parents agreed to end the separation. There was amazing strength between Karen and I. I knew I had to ask her to marry me and so I began looking for a ring.